I say fuck you

Fuck you to depression
Fuck you to anxiety
Fuck you to borderline personality disorder
Fuck you to fear
Fuck you to regrets
Fuck you to mistakes
Fuck you to heartbreak
Fuck you to weakness
Fuck you to self harm
Fuck you to chocolate and associated weight hate
Fuck you to judgemental people
Fuck you to financial worries
Fuck you to single parenthood
Fuck you to bad skin
Fuck you to tears
Fuck you to nausea
Fuck you to insomnia
Fuck you to not being able to wake up after you took so long to fall asleep
Fuck you to fake friends
Fuck you to friends who drop you for a new friend
Fuck you to men who won’t take care of their own kids
Fuck you to expectations
Fuck you to minimum wage
Fuck you to housework
Fuck you to laundry folding
Fuck you to self esteem
Fuck you to arguments
Fuck you to overeating
Fuck you to smoking cravings
Fuck you to cravings for any undesirable behaviour
Fuck you to colds and flu
Fuck you to tiredness
Fuck you to anger
Fuck you to irritability
Fuck you to lack of motivation
Fuck you PMS
Fuck you to lack of energy
Fuck you to periods
Fuck you to late periods
Fuck you to stupid worries
Fuck you to guilt
Fuck you to paranoia
Fuck you to my fear of abandonment
Fuck you to behaviours that end up pushing people away
Fuck you to every single man who has ever made me feel worthless
Fuck you to everyone who doesn’t believe in depression
Fuck you to people who refuse to help those who need it
Fuck you to not being able to afford therapy
Fuck you to waiting lists
Fuck you to mental health conditions
Fuck you to anything that makes someone feel inferior
Fuck you to love causing people pain
Fuck you to suicide
Fuck you to relationships ending
Fuck you to broken families
Fuck you to facebook drama
Fuck you to nosiness
Fuck you to panic
Fuck you to teeth grinding
Fuck you to snoring
Fuck you to empty beds
Fuck you to alarm clocks
Fuck you to waking up alone
Fuck you to going to bed alone
Fuck you to crying
Fuck you to lying
Fuck you to cheaters
Fuck you to running away
Fuck you to everything taking so long
Fuck you to impatience
Fuck you to waiting
Fuck you to not knowing
Fuck you to plans changing
Fuck you to goals being demolished
Fuck you to progress wasted
Fuck you to time wasted
Fuck you to growing up
Fuck you to missing years of your children’s lives to postnatal depression
Fuck you to postnatal depression at all
Fuck you to memories
Fuck you to sad songs
Fuck you to happy songs feeling like they’re gloating
Fuck you to shared interests being ruined
Fuck you to disagreements
Fuck you to forgetting the good and only seeing the bad
Fuck you to mood swings
Fuck you to needing a hug
Fuck you to childish behaviour
Fuck you to selfish behaviour
Fuck you to desperately wishing for one person
Fuck you to living apart
Fuck you to commitment issues
Fuck you to relationship issues
Fuck you to politics
Fuck you to suffering
Fuck you to news stories
Fuck you to crying over everything
Fuck you to world problems you cannot solve
Fuck you to feeling helpless
Fuck you to society’s opinions on sharing feelings
Fuck you to not being allowed to say parenting is hard
Fuck you to being labelled ungrateful
Fuck you to feeling lost
Fuck you to needing space
Fuck you to words said but not meant
Fuck you to life plans
Fuck you to marriage
Fuck you to finding your perfection and losing it
Fuck you to blame
Fuck you to self blame
Fuck you to self hate
Fuck you to missing people
Fuck you to punching walls
Fuck you to not supporting people struggling
Fuck you to everyone who’s ever laughed at someone’s misfortune
Fuck you to people who mock disability
Fuck you to people who mock mental health
Fuck you to racism sexism and homophobia
Fuck you to division
Fuck you to hate
Fuck you to losing someone you love
Fuck you to pain, physical or emotional
Fuck you to dreams shattered
Fuck you to starting from scratch
Fuck you to new friends lost
Fuck you to difficult lives
Fuck you to emotionally uninvolved parents
Fuck you to materiality
Fuck you to black and white thinking
Fuck you to impulsiveness
Fuck you to instability
Fuck you to insecurity
Fuck you to ignoring people
Fuck you to read receipts
Fuck you to giving up

Life is always worth the fight. Fuck you everything that gets in my way. I will win. I will cherish every person in my life. I will always try my hardest. I will always give people more than they deserve. I will usually get hurt for it but that’s the way life is. I will keep my big heart open. I will always let people in. Show people kindness and love. I will always help those I can and feel guilty for not being able to do more. I will always love. Too much. Too strongly. And sometimes for people who don’t deserve it. But this cruel world will never beat me. It will never pull me down for long. I will rise up from the ashes like Fawkes and protect those I love. My tears will heal wounds like Fawkes and my loyalty will never waver. I will fight the fights that need to be fought and I will win those which need to be won. I am a mum. I am a woman. I am a fighter. I am strong. I am brave. I am hard working. I am loving. I am kind. I am human. And that is a beautiful thing to be.